And so, as many have heard, my former hometown of Newtown, Connecticut was the scene of what had to be the second worst school shooting in America. on Dec. 14, 2012 at 9:30 am, a distraught 20 year old who was a loner, much like me when I attended Newtown High between 1977 and 1980; walked into Sandy Hook elementary school on Dickinson Dr. in the Sandy Hook Section of Newtown; first shooting our a window with either an AR-15, or another semiautomatic firearm. This after first killing his mother, Nancy Lanza, at their home at 32 Yoganada St. ; about two miles away close to Bennett's Bridge Rd. near where my late brother, Joe Oropal, had once lived in the Cedarhurst Section of town. anyway, this person was a loner , much like I was when I attended Newtown High. I must admit that, as a transgender lesbian woman still living in my " former life" back then; I had entertained the thought more than once about shooting up my high school. Most of the students who I went to school with were major fucking assholes; mostly jockstraps and preppies from semi-rich families who acted like the kings and queens of the school! Thing is this; my father grew up in The Bronx Borough of New York City. HE HATED GUNS! When we first moved to Newtown, about a year or so later he quit his business and took and early retirement; selling his share of the factory he co-owned with his Jewish Partner, Mel, paying off the splanch home on 2.85 acres he bought at 25 Hall Lane; then going into the antiques business.He had an old musket, I think, that or a World War I era rifle he purchased from a gun collector in Newtown. I still remember the comments he made to my mother as to how many fucking machine guns and other semiautomatic rifles this guy owned in his Newtown Home. " I cannot understand why anyone needs a military rifle for deer hunting?" Dad said. " These God damn hillbilly gun collectors are out of their God damn minds here in Connecticut! what the hell do they think? That Russia is going to attack them or that the deer is going to shoot back?", Dad added.
Dad had a point, however, if he were like Mr. Kilebold or Mr. Harris in Littleton. CO, who knows? I may have done what dylan, Eric, or Lanza did. Gun rights activists claim that the AR-15 is the " perfect little semiautomatic rifle for shooting at targets and small " varmint" such as rabbits. However, from what I've heard, magazines are easily interchangeable and that same AR-15 Modified was what The Joker, James Holmes, used to perform his movie theater massacre in Aurora, CO last summer! I hated fucking Newtown, I mean I loved the woods and scenery and had a lot of fun there getting in trouble with the " pigs" and tearing around like a bat out of hell on both bicycle and skateboard. But I hated most of the people there.
Anyway, that was then and this is now. at age 42 with a brain and emotional state more comparable to that of a 15 year old than a 42 year old parent and homeowner, I came out of the closet and donned my first skirt; a cute little denim skirt with fringe bottom. this was in May of 2005; a year later, on May 28, 2006, I went on hormones and suddenly, the intense anger gave way to tears one day while driving in my car toward my hair stylist in Middlebury; a real Italiano Beyotch with prissy ass attitude problem named Britt. Anyway, Mom got sick soon after and her condo had to be sold; it finally sold in July of 2009, at which time I left for the west coast with no inclination of how difficult life was fixing to be for a half-passable [ at the time] transwoman living on a social security disability check with no history of rentals from any landlords. 40 days later, I arrived at Surf, CA , the $4,000 having run out and a generous, but expecting me to be able to suport myself, sister helping me out so as I could make it to Oregon; where my neice, Jamie, living in Waldport, was supposedly going to help me out. Yeah, fucking-a-right!!!!
So the next two years to follow were spent driving back and forth across the country; first I planned to settle in Southern Illinois close to Carbondale; then on toward St. louis where, for two days I stayed at Televangelist Larry Rice's New Life Ministries; getting discriminated against on the second day by this bastard named Bob- a former Marine whom Jesus himself [ were he alive still] would have spit flem directly in his face! From St. Louis it was off toward Denver, Santa Fe, NM where I stayed for 10 days before being told to move on because some fucking woman named Cynthia at the Casa familia shelter did not like the idea of a transwoman sleeping in the same room.
Next was Chico CA where I stayed for 7 weeks at the Torres Shelter, eating at the Jesus center at 1238 Park Ave. I still have a woman who read my former blog and seeing her name; threatened to sue for defamation [ like she was going to get anything out of me!] . Fuck her! Okay, at first that's what I wanted to do.
Anyway, I've been here in Las Cruces for a year and just moved into student housing; a really small efficency that has less kitchen storage space than the cottage at 2215-1/2 South Solano Dr. did ; but once the HUD Grant help expired, there was no way I could afford the place anymore. The rear bedroom had no heat in it; just the fucking gas heater in the main area, or original part of that old place built in 1959 [ BR was added in 1969] . It had a little, 1969 era piece of shit air conditioner, a fucking window unit that gobbled up $85 worth of electricity during August of 2012; the lights used about $25 max! The god damn pice of shit did not even cool the whole place; as for the heat, I needed a space heater for the rear BR just to stay halfway comfortable during this , and last winter's unusually cold weather for Las Cruces.
So here I am in a student apt. which may be smaller, but includes everything plus basic cable and internet; wi-fi and DSL connect. That was a major pain in the ass to hook up! That and I doubt they will approve of how I had to, standing upon a chair, staple the damn telephone wire allong the walls from the kitchen's phone jack; to the desk in the rear of the apt. I share a bath with a younger in age woman I have yet to meet, all I know is she speaks spanish fluently and she decorated our shared bathroom with hobbits, mushrooms, and a tin flower pot with fake daffodils placed on the fucking vanity next to the sink. Ms. Priss I am sure!
Otherwise, I am like two weeks behind in my studying; all because of Amazon.com's really " speedy" Super Saver delivery that took 16 FUCKING DAYS TO GET THOSE BOOKS TO ME! New Mexico State University, including the Dona Ana Community College Branch where I take classes; it is okay at best. At first I was so excited at the prospects of being on a big university campus with everything to do. But now it is like BLEAH at best. Some of the students are really super awesome kewl! My neighbor here in cervantes village apts. Erin, seemed really nice when I first met her. A wildlife biology major, she just seemed really nice; something that is true of many people here in Las Cruces; but not all. I am getting to dislike many Mexican-Americans, not all of them, mind you. it's just that quite a few are so fucking CONSERVATIVE AND HOMOPHOBIC! Much like the Italians living in Town Plot of Waterbury, CT and even Staten Island, NY , it's the GOD DAMN CATHOLIC CHURCH THAT'S TO BLAME FOR THIS!
As for NMSU itself? well I am thinking of other schools to apply to. recently I applied to Santa Fe University of Art and Design up in beautiful Santa Fe, New Mexico; about 284 miles north of Las Cruces, NM which is close to the Mexican Border and El Paso, TX. Would I go back east to the cold winters , I asked myself last week. the State University of New York has Potsdam, SUNY Purchase, and Oswego; all of which have that same creative writing degree program. NMSU has an English-Creative Writing Emphasis; however NMSU is much more the engineer and animal/plant sciences university than one specializing, mostly, in creative arts. I need to be surrounded by liberal, free-spirited people; not a bunch of fucking conformists preparing for the future business and science world and cowboy jackasses studying to learn how to create an " Improved cow or steer " to breed on their redneck daddy's rancheria!
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