Yes, life at New Mexico State University, it is like whoopie mother fucking doo, I am sure. Totally! here I sit trying to get my brain motivatd to do what I returned to college to do; complete my bloody homework and eventually get my associate of arts degree......or TRANSFER AGAIN? Yeah, I am not finding NMSU to be A-fucking wonderful; nor this pile of dusty ass shit boomtown rapidily filling with yupster "breeders" and Mejicanos coming from over the border hoping to find a " new life" here in wonderful America; the asshole of the industrialized world as far as I see things. I cannot badmouth them, however, as I just met an awesome woman from Ciudad Juarez who is an international student here at State; another in my class comes from Chihuahua, Chihuahua en Mexico' [ or Mejico, two spellings in Spanish-the English had difficulty pronouncing the J as an " H" as in Tejas; and so renamed it TEXAS! A state that, with the exception of Austin and certain areas of Dallas and Houston, is essentially the gun-adoring redneck Repugnant Party's " Darling of the USA"].
Not that Southern New Mexico is so wonderful, mind you. I was thinking about what I'd be giving up by going back to the more-crowded , but far prettier unless you see 90% treeless mountains as "pretty", Eastern States such as New York, Vermont, and/or Connecticut. The cost of living is far more expensive there, however, on my crappy little SSDI + SSI income combined; I cannot even afford to live here without giving up the car and depending upon a sorry ass public bus system that runs from 7am to 7 pm only on Monday through Friday. Saturday they stop running at 6 pm! Even the links here on the NMSU campus do not run after 6pm; this whole university, and especially Dona Ana Community College Branch where I take my courses, is essentially a bloody fucking joke. Like Naugatuck Valley community college back in Connecticut , its like Las Cruces High school with the bulldogs; this with all the younger students in my classes-many of whom come from Mexican Descent and hold onto their parents, and that asshole Catholic Church's , morals and prejudices.
Not that all Mexicans as a whole are that way; from what i have seen, it seems as if the ones born here, for the most part, are far more ignorant and LGBT-intolerant than those coming to school from the actual country of MEXICO! I give many of them credit for working like a god damn slave at the many shit jobs in this piece of commercialized shit boom town's many retail big boxes and fast food joints. Places like Walmart and McDogshite that pay shit wages and expect people to work like, well, slaves on the old plantation. Add to that coming to school full-time which many of them do and I give them credit. Coming from the poverty I've seen both here in Dona Ana county, New Mexico, and in Juarez itself all the more, they still believe in the American Dream of the Rockefellers and Kochs; one that states if one is willing to work hard and play by the rules, there is no limit upon what one can achieve in the USA. I watched something on PBS Bill Moyers show last night about how, in Italia [ Italy], those who have been laid off now have a second choice to accepting just any job that is offered them. They can receive their unemployment for three long years if they group with other like minded people who are unemployed and, together, start their own business in which everybody is the Chief Executive Officer. This rather than the All-American way of working for some billionaire like John Walton-Walmart CEO who pays the workers Jill Shit per hour and lives like the pickled pig in the golden shithouse!
anyway, back to college, my body feels like the worn-out 50 year old that I am supposed to be; my brain, however, feels like it never caught up to my chronological age. Despite having made a few friends, more like acquaintences, here at NMSU [ one at the branch] ; I feel detached and alone; much like I have felt throughout my fucked up, seemingly neverending life both as " It" and as Cheryl. However, I now realize that is because I just do not feel that eagerness to belong to the groups I frequent. My classes are interesting, but I feel like it is constantly hard for me to keep up with them. For one thing, I lack motivation; in another way I just put things off until they build up and need be done.
In our groups such as Stonewall queer-Straight Alliance , in order to be an officer of any kind, one must agree to complete two community service assignments. The fucking university administration made this rule, NOT us students! Which leads me to believe, more and more, that Alan of Aggie solidarity-our campus socialist organization and the closest we have at NMSU-was totally correct when he stated that the universities are being operated by local corporate powerhouses who sit on the college's board of decisionmakers; the STUDENTS HAVE NO REAL SAY IN ANY OF THE ADMIN'S. DECISIONS AFFECTING THEIR EDUCATION AND COLLEGE LIFE. In this fucking school, this would be the Christo-Fascist Cowboy old WHITE men who run New Mexico State University; a Land-Grant University which evolved out of an agricultural past in the foreboding, mostly waterless, desert of Southern NM best known for irrigated farmland growing pecans and cotton; and yes, factory farms and ranches raising the beef cattle used by every restaurant from Cattleman's Steak House to McDogshite and Blake's Homophobia-burger.
The whole " community service requirment" comes from these God damn churches here in Dona Ana County, especially those fucking locusts called Baptists, a cancer upon this country who are desperately in need of being " exterminated" like the plague of locusts swarming down upon that Kansas Wheat field! They dominate our university with their fucking PHAUSI Student Challenge, a christian fraternity designed to teach college students how to become either Christian Missionaries spreading their poison, along with doing good works, to third world countries such as Mexico and Guatemala; or to become Christian Businesspeople.
So what am I saying? Well that yes, NMSU is basically still the cow-tipping university it began as in 1883, I believe. We still are dominated by our cowshit for brains redneck rancher offspring and yes, the parasites known as Christian-Republicans. Our Campus Democrats organization is rather small when compared to the Campus Repubicans and their mascot, Humphrey the Elephant. Is it just being a non-traditional student? Or is it more like being a slacker who never really had, and still lacks, the goals to succeed in college; along with the desire to work for a corporation after graduation. I claimed that I wanted to do creative writing, but why have I not been keeping up with uploading that series of journals?
I said that I wanted to move on, if possible, to go to a university that is far more creative arts-oriented than NMSU is. This is more the Agricultural Sciences and Engineering school with a following of third: Sciences and social sciences and fourth: business majors. Our college of English and music is tiny by comparision to the other aforementioned schools above. That should tell me what I want to know about myself. We have our few hipsters and we have plenty of skaters; but is this really the school for liberal leftists who do not give a flying fuck for conventional careers or for the god damn Repugnant Party's Politics and for the teachings of "Jesus Christ".
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