Gangsta! Gangsta! A look into what the 5-0 knows, or maybe does NOT know.

Spending the first six months in my student efficiency apartment/suite here at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces, New Mexico, in Cervantes Village, one of the facilities here in what they call South Campus Housing, I had a younger suitemate named Milli . A Mexican-American woman who was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico, later moved to Las Cruces with her mother who transferred here when her employer, Comcast, opened their new office in Las Cruces, despite how hard her mom tried to get her away from these "gangsta" friends she knew from when she attended Mayfield High School, all of her Mexican-American "homies" (as she called them), almost every fucking night and always on Wednesday and Thursday, they'd be here, partying well into the early morning hours, often to 430 and 5:30 AM. Believe me, were it not for Flent's Quiet Time earplugs-the disposable kind, I don't know how I would've ever got to sleep? On the good side, however, I am more than night owl the in the morning type.

At first, due to the cigarette smoking and the secondhand smoke drifting into my room, something that caused my asthma in my damaged right lung to go haywire. Often to the point that I was screaming out loud the same words that Eric Garner of Staten Island, New York screamed as that stupid fucking pig  (I cannot bring myself to call the fucker a police officer, because he is such an asshole), Officer Pantaleo (a disgrace to all us " ginzos", including myself!). Those being "I CAN'T BREATHE!" That said, I must've left at least three or four notes in the bathroom explaining that the smoke was killing me; the pot smoke wasn't any problem; it was the fucking cigarette smoke from all her friends smoking like fucking chimneys! Need I say what the note I received back said? Something to the effect that she didn't let anybody walk all over her; she literally said she would " Thrash me". Imagine my surprise when, after about two weeks after I moved in (I got here a week after school started, as I was returning from the the Northeast after getting the disappointing news that I would be able to afford out-of-state tuition and living expenses were I to attend State University of New York at Potsdam), someone opened the door and, for the first time, I met Milli.

Here she was, a short little nineteen-year-old Mexican-American Chica of maybe five foot two inches in stature. Her first words? "I don't know what you talking about, yo? I don't smoke cigarettes! I smoke bud yo!" My reply? "So do I, but it's been a while. Seeing her friends from high school all chilling out at her place, all of them with gang tattoos and shaved heads-a few of them wearing black bandannas around their heads and/or necks, next thing you know one of her friends came up to me and said "Want to buy some? I got some good shit, yo." Anyway, she and I became friends; Milli was really pretty cool. Her friends were another story, however. Many of them were either real gangstas, or more likely than not, gangster wannabes. Most of them affiliated with the Vatos Locos-a Spanish gang that's rather common throughout the Southwest; they can be found everywhere from Los Angeles and San Diego California, to Texas and even Louisiana and Florida in the South. In fact they are now even in the province of Ontario, Canada, hard as that is to believe.

I soon learned to have respect for both Milli and her friends. Their smoking of cigarettes, at times, was annoying. However, I enjoyed smoking pot with them. Gangstas, from what I can gather, are to the new millennium what stoners were in my high school generation; I having gone to Newtown High School in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, Sandy hook being part of the town of Newtown, were gangstas the cool scene, the pot smokers when I attended Newtown high school, from September 1977 through June 1980, I probably would've been wearing colors too! June 1980 thing when I decided to quit school and be placed on "Homebound instruction". This after getting expelled for the last ten days of my junior year; statistically, I may have been a junior; however, based on the amount of credits I had I was just entering sophomore year and still in freshman physical education class! Much like Milli and her friends, I, too, was a problem student when I went to high school. Like her, I had, and still do have learning disabilities. That and I had been labeled "emotionally disturbed" since the time I entered kindergarten at Steele Elementary School, in Baldwin, Long Island, New York. My hometown on the South Shore of Long Island in Nassau County; one which is, and always was since the early 1950s, a densely populated suburban community.

Yeah, in a lot of ways I felt for Milli. As I could understand what it was like to be a fuck-up in life. However, there was one major difference between her and I; that being that she had social skills and lots of friends. Something which, from the time I was four years old and living on Tulip Avenue in Baldwin, I cannot say I ever had. Moving to Newtown, Connecticut a month before my 12th birthday (chronological age only-as I was much more immature than that; something which, I will admit, Milli's hard-working, Mexican-American Hispanic mother told me was true about her also), my father thought I would find a new life in a new town-pardon the pun. That, all of a sudden I was going to become what he called "Normal"; wrong, Dad! The old saying about putting a jackass on a plane at Bradley International Airport in Connecticut and flying it to California, at which time what else gets off that plane but a jackass, that seem to be true of me throughout my life! In fact it is still true; I'm not one to become a physical part of any fucking community in any fucking state-at least here in the United States of America. Or, correctly here, please, is that now the Divided states of America? Looking at all the candidates for the 2016, Grand Old Party's presidential primary, I must say that that is true.

Two weeks after I settled in Las Cruces, having spent 2 1/2 years homeless and traveling around the United States, twice, from coast to coast, back to Connecticut, and later, Western New York State (Wellsville and Bath), going back west of Denver, Colorado; back to Connecticut, and then to a shelter in Brooklyn, New York (Institute for Community Living's women's shelter, which, at the time, was located at 200 Tillary Street in Downtown Brooklyn-the shelter being a MICA shelter; MICA being short for "Mental health and chemical addictions"). Spending eight months there, place where I learned a lot about what life was like in the hood, I got sick of waiting for my so-called "Housing package" and left. Taking a couple days to pack everything I brought with me and placed in the locker by my bed, believe me, that was not easy; I had to prove that I had a physical address to go to! What a fucking crock a bullshit! As if the bullshit as having to see this goddamn asshole of a fucking psychiatrist-they had two working for them while I was there, the last one being this black guy who told me I had ADHD. No fucking shit Sherlock! You win the genius of the year award, you fucking dumb piece of fucking shit!

However, my biggest reasons for leaving, besides the bullshit they put me through (and everybody else, for that matter) and the fears of being placed into one of those so-called "Group apartments", places that weren't really apartments but actually miniature GROUP HOMES, were the following. 1. Every month, as part of our so-called "Housing package", everybody who was already getting Social Security disability and/or SSI had to bring their assigned social worker what they called an "Award letter". In other words, a letter proving our monthly income. Little had I known this, but Diane, a woman I became friends with at that shelter who was from the Canarsie Section of Brooklyn, New York, told me what they were doing; deducting so-called "Costs of shelter" from everybody's Supplemental Security Income allowance. Disgusting! I won't get into too many details here; however, what was even more sickening is that New York City's politicians, including then Mayor Michael Bloomberg, as well as the Democratic governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo were all in on this together. Funneling thousands, if not millions of taxpayer dollars to so-called "nonprofit" corporation such as the Institute for Community Living-all in hopes of supposedly helping the homeless! Talk about governmental waste. The government could do a better job as is done in Denmark, the Netherlands, Sweden, Germany, other European countries. That and some of the Canadian provinces such as Ontario, and British Columbia.

Anyway, the demographics of that shelter being something like ninety-three percent African-American and/or black, I was one of few white or Hispanic people staying there. Must I say that I learned a lot about what life in the hood, what life in the inner city was like? Believe me, the place was fucking rough! That being an understatement. And so I left. Making up some kind of lie and telling the case manager I had, Bronique Braithwaite (an African-American woman who wore bougie rings on every one of her fingers to show how much "better" she was in the rest of the Blacks there), that I was moving in with my sister in Great Neck, in Nassau County, New York on Long Island's North Shore. The same thing I had told, over the phone, to the Social Security Administration in order to get back my SSI income every month.

Packing all the shit in my car, on the last weekend of August 2011, Hurricane Irene had blown into Southern New York, into the New York City area, Long Island, the New Jersey coast, and yes, into Connecticut were caused many power outages due to down large trees falling across roads and onto power lines. Nevertheless, that Saturday, despite the weather, I got in my car and set out to find a laundromat that was open; almost everything in Brooklyn being closed! Hard to imagine for a city as big as New York, one with 8 1/2 million people in it, plus another 4 1/2 million living on Long Island and Nassau, and Suffolk Counties. Finally, somewhere along Conduit Boulevard-a road that eventually becomes Long Island's Sunrise Highway in Valley Stream, New York, lo and behold, there was an open laundromat. A really nice place at that, complete with attendant like the one I go to here in Las Cruces on N. Main St.

Getting my laundry done and packing it all into the suitcases I had in the car, I gathered the rest of my stuff out of that shelter. Walking to and from my car in between periods of pouring rain. Oh well, but the time late Sunday afternoon came hurricane blew through and was well up into New England; headed toward Maine and the Canadian Maritime Provinces. Everything was packed and I was ready to get the hell out. My right brain set on the New Mexico, Albuquerque in particular. New Mexico being one of the few states, which, at the time, had a transgender anti discrimination law. And so, taking the entire day on Monday to say goodbye to the few friends I had that shelter, actually a lot more than just a few friends (we had a lot of lesbians there as well as a few transgender women like myself), Diana and I went off to get something to eat as usual. Going to the place that everybody called "The new Johnson Street store"and buying some food; the new store being right across Johnson Street from what everybody staying at that shelter called "The old Johnson store". That being Johnson Deli and Grocery; a place owned by two Islamic men named Ali and Mohammed. One of them was Pakistani, the other, as I remember was from Yemen; both of them in business for over twenty years that same location at the corner of Prince, and Johnson Streets. Directly next-door to one of New York City's many police precincts.

And so, finally leaving in my former car, a fully packed 1996 Honda Accord LX, I pulled out of the underpass where I parked my car under during those eight months; eight months during which, I'll have to admit, I hardly ever used the car. Parking being such a hassle almost everywhere in the city of New York, except for maybe out on Staten Island; also known as Richmond County/Borough, suburban place-for the most part, anyway. There was that same old black crackhead woman in her wheelchair. Rolling up to every car at the traffic light at the corner of Tillary and Navy Streets and begging for crack money. Taking into account that I'm on a disability income and the not much better off than she is, plus the fact that everybody at that shelter-all the women staying there knew that she was a crackhead (often, we even see her smoking rock as the police passed by! The cops, I think, felt sorry for her), slowly, I pulled out of that cobblestone parking lot. This being about 10 o'clock at night. Seeing the light changed I made a left turn onto Park Avenue and headed toward the Brooklyn-Queens Freeway. A road better known as the Brooklyn Queens Expressway, it's a freeway with the exception of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge taking one into Staten Island, and New Jersey. Naturally, I headed the other way. North toward the Long Island Expressway/Interstate 495 Freeway; first getting caught in traffic, I drove all the way out to Riverhead in eastern Suffolk County. Getting there in less than an hour and a half, as I was moving a good 70 to 75 miles an hour in what was both a 55 mile an hour zone, and later, as one gets into Suffolk County-the speed limit increases to 65. Passing most of the other drivers; and here I thought Long Island New York at the craziest drivers? I guess that's not the case anymore.

I wanted to take one more look at Eastern Long Island before I headed out west to a place I had been before, twice, in fact. Stopping in Riverhead to get some gas, Riverhead being Long Island's easternmost ghetto with the exception of some neighborhoods in the village of Greenport, I followed State Route 24 east to State Route 27, into Shinnecock, Southampton, and into Hampton Bays. The place where I found a tiny little rest area on the side of the road and decided to "camp" in the car for the night. I wanted to see East Hampton, the town where I used to go to sleep away camp at Camp Saint Regis when I was a child living in Baldwin, New York; my parents sending me out to camp for two months over the summer just to get me the hell out of the neighborhood and out of their hair-as mom used to say when she was still alive. Worthy of note here: Mom had died on June 30, 2011; many days I felt like I had nothing left to live for and was seriously ready to commit suicide. However, that I said anything to those asshole fucking staff at that shelter they were to railroad me back in that goddamn hospital like they did the day in April when I bang my head into the fucking wall and broke the wall. Aggravated with life after being threatened by a big African-American crackhead who is ready to, in her own words I shall quote here, " To slash me with a blade". (Every night I would see her hiding behind her locker and hitting on that crack pipe, but that's besides the point-nearly everybody did that there.)





  York Yankees Gangster Disciples Colors: Black/Blue/White; Chicago Bulls Black Peace Stones
Nation
"Bulls" Stands For "Boy U Look Like Stone"
Chicago Bulls Blood Gangs "Bulls" Stands For "Bloods Usually Live Life
Strong"
Chicago Bulls Blood Gangs "Bulls" Stands For "Bloods Usually Live Life
Smart"
Chicago Bulls Folk Nation Gangs The "Horns" Are The Folk Symbol For
"Determination"
Chicago Bulls Folk Nation Gangs For False Flagging/Bloods Usually Live Life
Stupid
Chicago Bulls Vice Lords Colors: Red And Black
Chicago Bulls People Nation Gangs Bulls Horns Are A Broken Pitchfork
Chicago Cubs Spanish Cobras Initial "C"

My comments: Folk Nation is a " Black" gang; they DOMINATE Hempstead, Long Island, NY and were beginning to come into Orlando, FL when I lived there-so dominant today. However, many Caucasians, those in the suburbs and/or " rural" suburbs (Southbury/ Newtown, Connecticut or very much redneck Middleburg, FL-a " Bible-belt" town!) are also members and/or wannabees. 

Dallas Cowboys People Nation Gangs Five Point Star Of The People Nation
Dallas Cowboys Crip Gangs Cowboys Stands For: Crips On Wheels
Blasting On Young Slobs
Dallas Cowboys Crip Gangs Blue And Grey And White ColorsOakland “A’s” Ambrose Initial: “A” For Ambrose
Oakland “A’s” Orchestra Albany Initials: “O” & “A”
Oakland “A’s” Spanish Cobras Color. Green
Oakland Raiders Folk Nation Gangs “Magic”- Maniacs And Gangsters In Chicago
Oakland Raiders Folk Nation Gangs “Raiders” - Remember After I Die Everyone
Run Scared

Orlando Magic People Nation Gangs 5 Pt Stars All Over Hat
Orlando Magic Folk Nation Gangs Maniacs And Disciples In Chicago
Orlando Magic Folk Nation Gangs Colors: Black And Blue
Orlando Magic People Nation Gangs Murder All Gangsters In Chicago

Boston STRONG!!!! LOL Boston Celtics Spanish Cobras Colors: Green And Black

U.N.L.V. Vice Lords Colors: Red/Black
U.N.L.V. Vice Lords UNLV - Backward Is Vice Lord Nation United
U.N.L.V. People Nation Gangs " Us Niggas Love Violence"

Chicago Bulls Black Peace Stones
Nation
"Bulls" Stands For "Boy U Look Like Stone"
Chicago Bulls Blood Gangs "Bulls" Stands For "Bloods Usually Live Life
Strong"
Chicago Bulls Blood Gangs "Bulls" Stands For "Bloods Usually Live Life
Smart"
Chicago Bulls Folk Nation Gangs The "Horns" Are The Folk Symbol For
"Determination"
Chicago Bulls Folk Nation Gangs For False Flagging/Bloods Usually Live Life
Stupid
Chicago Bulls Vice Lords Colors: Red And Black
Chicago Bulls People Nation Gangs Bulls Horns Are A Broken Pitchfork
Chicago Cubs Spanish Cobras Initial "C"

(www.ncgangcops.org/archives/Team%20Logos.pdf) 

Baldwin, Long Island, New York. My hometown has gangs now? We used to have high school fraternities that evolved into suburban street gangs; most began as " Athletic clubs", except Alpha Sigma Phi-the thug frat.

BALDWIN'S THE ' HOOD? Really. Well Southampton surprised me as it's just SICK RICH!!! That's not to say that the MS-13 presence has not been growing Island-wide. "MS-13 seems to put its palm print on Nassau and Suffolk Counties," said Sliwa, with gangs located in communities such as Valley Steam, Baldwin, Freeport, Copiague, Brentwood and Huntington Station. Other MS-13 influences can be found in Riverhead, he said. "They're entrenched. They're growing."
http://www.indyeastend.com/Articles-i-2007-08-08-69243.1131…

MS-13 Gang “Entrenched” On Long Island

The East End, like many places around the country, is being infiltrated by a violent gang, the La Mara Salvatrucha, or MS-13. Reports of a recent gang-related

INDYEASTEND.COM|BY LISA FINN

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  Cheryl Lynne Gebbia-Oropal Interesting, Baldwin, Nassau County, New York-the place where Joe briefly lived before Bay Shore, LI, NY and then Bridgeport; where Linda attended HS and I was born....." It's da Hood now?" It's still nice, though; HEMPSTEAD is 100% a hood-like the worst of Hartford, Bpt. and New Haven-worse.

  6 hrs · Like · 1
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• " Gangsta Island, NY". NO SHIT? "In Southampton, Nancy Lynott, who organizes yearly gang awareness seminars in Riverhead, said a recent teen assessment program survey indicated that nine percent of respondents identified themselves as gang involved. Respondents were 8th, 10th, and 12th grade students in Southampton Town."

   — feeling curious. ( East End Independent) 

Gangsta! Gangsta! A look into why teenagers, those who came from less fortunate families ( and even upper-middle class " wannabees") , join gangs.

You know what would be a killer story to ghostwrite, Kelly? My former suitemate's " old gangsta" boyfriend, Tito. A Mexican-American dude whom the FAILURE of an American penal system has literally SHIT ALL OVER, as they did MICHAEL BROWN of Ferguson, MO and that 12 year old dude who was shot dead by Cleveland Police. I bet he's got a story to tell which, if these fucking idiot redneck cops, judges, and the sorry ass probation/parole officers who must listen to these SCUMBAGS AT BOTH MAGISTRATE AND CRIMINAL CIRCUIT COURT HERE IN LAS CRUCIFIXION, would go fucking viral. IT WOULD SELL-PROBABLY to the top 100 list. I mean, Kelly, here I listened to her mother when she came to clean out her place-Mom paying for both her New Mexico State University-Dona Ana education, and yes, her former place in hopes that she'd have a better life in the future. Mom telling me the same shit my fucking ReThugNican sister tells me ALL THE TIME; that " A JOB IS A JOB!" They treated her like shit and then some at the McGarbage sweatshop she worked at near Walmart Las Cruces - S Valley Dr. Tired of " being McDonald's BITCH, she simply stopped showing up for work and/or came late every day-JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DID DURING THE " Less than 40-50 QUARTERS" I ACTUALLY HELD A JOB!!! 40 quarters=10 years; I worked, at the most, a total of maybe, MAYBE four full time years in total. No, it's like this. School sucks and the asshole overworked teachers reward the " Top teens"; its the same shit, essentially, here in Las Cruces ( probably) as it was in fucking Newtown, Connecticut!! One difference being that Newtown was always 99% Caucasian; today I believe its actually got 1.59% blacks, 2.99% Hispanic, and about 3% total of Asians and Indians ( India). As for Newtown High? Well, it's known for having over 94% continue to higher education; the goddamn school being about the same as always- a place where the JOCKSTRAP and PREPPIE assholes rule the school; the kids who lack the desire to compete, or even LEARN ANYTHING, are often left behind! I was " Adam Lanza." If only Dad owned an AK-47, Tech 9 Milla, or even that AR-15, I may have just GIVEN THOSE DAMN JOCKSTRAPS WHAT THEY REALLY DESERVED!!! Newtown essentially being just like COLUMBINE HIGH OF LITTLETON, COLORADO. I wanted to hammer all the bullies like CHOP MEAT back then.However, Newtown is a lot different than here; more like Littleton with big fancy homes-one main difference being that Littleton's houses are " Californicated". Built on little tiny shitass lots similar in size to Baldwin, Nassau County, New York. That and its a city of nearly 100,000, A fancy schmancy ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA but probably more like Sacramento or the newer neighborhoods of Chico, CA; that and like Las Cruces East Mesa. Mucho dollares for next to NOTHING LOT SIZES AND BIG HOUSING ON THEM! As for Las Cruces? There are very few good jobs here in town! Not that I am looking; to get those few better jobs, one must have both education and yes, EXPERIENCE. That and a CLEAN CRIMINAL and/or DRIVING RECORD. Even the many, and I mean MANY, "dogshit" jobs in this pile of shit city ( mostly-many of the richer people living on the East Mesa are retired, USUALLY FROM THE STINKING BLOODY MILITARY!!!! This goddamn fucking New Mexico State University CATERS TO THESE DAMN MILITARY PEOPLE! That and to its " Christian-redneck COWBOY" CULTURE; I mean Whiskey Dick's is the latest nightclub in this pathetic piece of shit city and county-A COUNTRY BAR??? Hello???? LAS CRUCES IS 63% OR MORE MEXICAN-AMERICANS; YET WE HAVE ONLY FUCKING " YAHOO MUSIC CLUBS" LIKE FUCKING TEXAS??? The parent university of Dona Ana UNDERFUNDED piece of shit Community College- New Mexico State University, CATERS TO THESE REDNECKS AND MILITARY RETIREES!!! How so? NEARLY EVERY CONCERT BOOKED at their Pan-Am Center is, guess what? COUNTRY!!!! YIPPIE YAI YAY YI YO!!! As fucking Frank Zappa of Califuckingfornia once said in a song titled Moving to Montana Soon. And so, this pathetic school shoves its fucking " career-prep" bullshit down every student's throat! And what do they have at the stupid fucking Aggie Career Fair? 1. US BORDER PATROL 2. NM STATE PIGS 3. NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY That and the court representatives trying to hire fucking PROBATION & PAROLE OFFICERS!!! Look.....New Mexico State University students, including sorry ass DACC....THIS IS YOUR FUTURE SHOULD YOU STAY IN SOUTHERN NEW MEXICO!!! You. too can be a " PIG" PIG LIKE this bastard!!! (Prosecute Officer Darren Wilson). While I realize that we all need some amount of law and order, the SYSTEM IS BROKEN. System of a Down, as the band is aptly named. Even worse is the fact that NMSU CONTRIBUTES TO THE BROKEN SYSTEM; the so-called " Branch", DONA ANA is even worse. Advisors are overworked, most teachers are NOT even fully tenured; those who are have grey hair, like my Biology 111G Professor, Dr. Davis. OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID. That and TRAPPED by a school administration OPERATED BY A BUNCH OF STINKING WHITE CRACKER COWBOYS AND RANCHER TYPES! Most employers in this sorry assed city are SWEATSHOP OPERATORS! Retail horseshit jobs like Target and Walmart!!! Fast food sweatshops and grease-pits on every corner of every major artery. Add to that these " Call Centers" who advertise on many billboards "UP TO $10/HR. NOW HIRING AT EMPERON. EOE. SE HABLA ESPANOL!!!" Come to think of it, some of those call center jobs might be relatively easy; EXCEPT for the fact that one will-MORE LIKELY THAN NOT, be working for some Big Bad Bank, NA and/or worse-CREDIT AGENCY like that shithead " Portfolio Associates" which has offices in Oakland, California and everywhere else in the United, but definitely DIVIDED, States of America. Knowing what it's like when these fuckers CONSTANTLY CALL ALL DAY AND UNTIL 9-10 PM, begging for the money you might owe to some bank and/or credit card scumbag operation; that or maybe MEDICAL BILLS YET UNPAID. FUCK THEM! These goddamn banks act is if they're hurting when in fact they REPACKAGE THE " BAD LOANS" AND THEN SELL THEM TO OTHER BANKS/CREDIT AGENCIES FOR PROFIT! Like Citibank, NA and yes-this PIECE OF SHIT Northeastern megabank that only calls itself a Community Bank NA; BASED IN ROCHESTER, NY, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE FROM Potsdam, New York to Albany and Buffalo; and now well into Pennsylvania as well! Unpaid closure? Go fuck yourselves!!! Sorry, but I was NOT GOING TO ALLOW YOU TO LEGALLY CONFISCATE MY ENTIRE SSD/SSI INCOME FOR OVERDRAFT FEES. DROP DEAD and I hope to holier than holy hell that ISIL bombs you and all of Wall Street! VULTURES!!! LEGAL CRIMINALS. Back to Las Cruci-Fried on meth and alcohol, the latter being something that Walmart sells in all three Las Cruces Supercenters. That said, what does one have here in the " City of the crosses"? True, there's a nice, relatively new aquatic center; that and many parks. However, jock activities appeal ONLY TO JOCKSTRAPS as was the case in fucking Newtown, Connecticut. Not every kid wants to become a stupid jockstrap or preppy! I NEVER DID! That I know! Nor do they want to be part of the US Military. Talk about THUGS! Our moron of a country trains its young to become SOLDIERS. SOLDIERS! Worse yet, this fucking idiot school, New Mexico State University, actually ENCOURAGES THIS BULLSHIT! ROTC!!! YIPPIE YAI YAY YI YO!!! Military veterans get Free transcripts. Worse yet, most American employers VALUE this bulllshit. PAID SERVANTS AND HUMAN ROBOTS, ESSENTIALLY. FUCK THEM ALL! Add to that these Christofascist churches here in " Morondale" Las Cruces. A place where these venomous vermin PREY upon the homeless in much the same way as that Las Cruces Cop who literally beat a homeless drunk nearly to death as he was sleeping on the sidewalk. And if that's not bad enough, these REDNECK COW-MORONS driving HUGE, and I mean HUGE PICK'EM-UP TRUCKS and 4x4 desert rat mobiles, again, mostly from MILITARY FAMILIES, back in 2011-12 winter, SEVERAL HOMELESS PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY BURNED TO DEATH. Must be the SAME REDNECK SHITBIRDS WHO TOSSED THAT CRANKSHAFT THROUGH THE FORMER LGBT CENTER at 1215 N. Main Street. Some of the Mexican-Americans have well assimilated themselves into this culture of redneck military morons! And why not? That's what the PIGS and the JUDAS ( " J"= "H" Americanos!) want them to do! Did I forget the assholes of the law profession? YES, PROSECUTORS LIKE THIS PIECE OF STALE TORTILLA SHIT WITH WORMS UP ITS "CHONCHA", Susana Martinez!!!! Formerly a DEMOCRAT, it became a REPUKE!!! Kissing the Cracker cowboy shitbirds asses like Steve Pearce!!! A PRO-BIRTHER pile of welfare-cutting shit that's all about SUPPORTING THOSE TROOPS-SO HE CLAIMS, ANYWAY. Southern New Mexico being just one small step away from being RURAL TEXAS! Las Crucifixion somewhere between East and West Los Angeles and Texas-the place where Whiskey fucking Dick's is from. Slave jobs and Christo-Catholic stupidity=Las Cruces and especially Dona Ana County. The goddamn Dona Ana County Sheriff's Dept=ASSHOLES!!! They see someone, well, " Driving while Mexican" and LOOK OUT!!!! " WHOOP! WHOOP! THEY ARE ON TOP OF YOUR BUMPER LIKE COWBOYS IN A CATTLE DRIVE ARE TOWARD THEIR CATTLE!!! NO SHIT SHERLOCK, THEY ARE ASSHOLES!!!! " PIGS" IN BLANKETS and I sure as shit do NOT mean HOT DOGS! JUST LIKE THEY ARE IN FLORIDA AND THE REST OF DIXIELAND!!! ASSHOLES!!! Blame Congressman Steve Pearce and his damn Repukes!!! That and the damn " Bank-loving" DEMOCRATS who also kiss the assholes of Big Bad Pharma and Big Bad Bank and Corporation. Trying to put myself in the place of an impoverished, or maybe not so impoverished Mexican dude and/or chick here, let's see, here you are at age 13. You have two or three choices. 1. Go to school and deal with the administrative MILITIA and " School resource" PIGS. 2. Listen to mother and father and become an honor roll student who also must work at McGarbage; all because your parents are naive enough to still believe that America is STILL the " Land of Opportunity. 3. Listen to your homies and join the GANG, becoming a "gangsta"; something which, DUE TO " SAINT" REAGAN'S, and Bushole I/ Bushole II's FAILURE OF A WAR ON DRUGS ( War on FREEDOM!!!!) has BECOME A NECESSITY! After all, WHEN MANY OF THE COPS ARE A " GANG IN BLUE" you have to have a GANG to fight them. Choose one, please. Going back to my former existance and when I first moved to Newtown, Connecticut, as soon as I got into Newtown Middle School, me and some of the other cigarette-smoking "badasses", more like wussies, started a " gang". We carried " NEW YORK CHAINS" as I saw teenagers doing whenever I visited Baldwin, New York to see my Cousin, Diana; this little Sicilian-American punk the girls called " Pauly" carrying his chains attached to his jeans and acting all badass. That and showing us his shiny STILETTO as he tried to be like them punk-ass Puerto Rican teens in " Da Bronx" as it's often called. Baldwin, Nassau County, New York had a city culture similar to here in Las Cruces, a little wealthier but generally middle-class like Ferguson, MO. Today, North Baldwin and Ferguson are VERY MUCH ALIKE-RACIALLY ANYWAY. However, in Baldwin you've got " Obama blacks". Formally-educated power suits and skirts that rule the NYC business world! The only change has been color of skin; otherwise, Baldwin is STILL NICE AS IT ALWAYS WAS. Being a person who could never fight, I too, carried a lock-blade; I'll never forget the look on Alton Cashman's face ( Assistant Principal of Newtown Middle School) when he caught me with that lock blade I bought for a few bucks off some Puerto Rican punk down in Bridgeport, CT. That, plus my many temper tantrums where I'd go out and smash windows and shit for the fun of it, add to that the time I literally SHOVED this girl named Amy Burghoff into Hawley Brook and WHAM, Newtown's pigs were always on my ass! PUNKS MUST BE PUNKS! Soon the Fairfield County "Superior Court", Juvenile Division were onto me. Mr. Cashman was all ready, with the help of NPD, to have me placed into LONG LANE ACADEMY. That or Desisto School up in Sheffield, Massachusetts as the Newtown Board of Education recommended! The beginning of my becoming the piece of shit in life I still am today! As Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, EasyE, and McRen once said ' FUCK THE POLICE!" My fucking parents bailed me out everytime, as long as they had the money. Had they not and/or had I stayed in Baldwin, Nassau County, New York, I too, probably would have been sent to " Mineola, NY", to the Nassau County JDC!!! One of the few friends that I had, Danny Fortune was in and out all the time. His parents a bunch of Irish-Catholic drunks, they were poor. POOR! Danny was a fucking PUNK! From what I heard, I believe he hooked up with the badasses in either ALPHA SIGMA PHI (the " PHI" as they were known) or, I believe those in a group that used to give me beer to drink whenever I went down to Milburn Creek Park- DELTA GAMMA RHO! Yes, the "DELTAS" and the " PHI"; they ruled fucking Baldwin, Nassau County, New York!!! That and Oceanside and Freeport as well. OCEANSIDE ALPHA SIGMA PHI LITERALLY KILLED A KID, ALMOST, IN 1981-82 AT WHAT BECAME KNOWN AS THE " BALDWIN Burger King BRAWL"!!!! ( Read Fraternal Brotherhood and you'll see.) PUNKS!!! PUNKASSES!!! WHITE TEENAGE SUBURBAN STREET GANGS ( and some Hispanics, OKAY-BILLY SANDOVAL OF OCEANSIDE " PHI". The motha fucka who BEAT THE MOTHER FUCKING PISS AND SHIT OUT OF SOME GUY ASSOCIATED WITH BALDWIN OMEGAS, TAKING A FUCKING BASEBALL BAT AND THEN, BASHING THE MOTHER FUCKING JOCKSTRAP'S SKULL IN!!! THUS, BALDWIN, LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK BURGER KING BRAWL OF 1981, I believe? (http://www.city-data.com/…/1670494-who-remembers-hs-fratern…) And so, that may have been my path in life, too. Remember, back then I was always looking to belong; notwithstanding the fact that I did NOT have the SOCIAL SKILLS TO DO SO! Had a stayed in Baldwin, the Phi would have been good for me. I wish I had the answer to life? I do not. However, as part of a class assignment comparing Pandora to Spotify I did last night, we had to find an international radio station online; I chose the NETHERLANDS. A country I always wanted to move to because POT IS ( ALMOST) LEGAL and/or the cops do little more than ID you and take down your name; for dealing-you may eventually get a FINE! Like UK-a fine! Not even that. PROSTITUTION IS 100% LEGAL AND 200% OKAY! The hookers are INSPECTED-GRADE A PRIME ENCHILADAS BABY! Ironically, the women in the Netherlands are supposedly the HAPPIEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD! FEMINISM RULES, not this American uptight "My twat is made of gold" feminism; REAL FEMINISM!!!! DOPE? Even heroin and meth dealers maybe get a year or two max; PRISON IN NETHERLANDS is REHAB AND VOCATIONAL TRAINING. Something which you do because they " nudge" you to do so. CAKEWALK, BABY! Unlike here in the USA, homelessness is NOT ILLEGAL! That and, unlike here where everything's " Background and CREDIT CHECK" even for HUD-funded housing, there the government FINDS HOUSING FOR YOU. CANADA WAS LIKE THAT 10 YEARS AGO; BUT WITH HARPER????? No, when you lack and education, or even when you have graduated from some community college like Dona fucking Ana, EMPLOYERS DO NOT WANT TO HIRE YOU BECAUSE, WELL, YOU HAVE " NO EXPERIENCE". The whole " Hard work ethic" in America is FUCKED! Should you not want to work, or maybe, due to an early criminal record, you have but two choices. 1. Keep looking for SHIT-WORK at McGarbage, Burger Krap, or maybe Walmart. 2. Do the " HUSTLE" BABY!!!! ( http://www.nytimes.com/…/lessons-from-european-prisons.html… ) Most here in the USA are druggies. DRUGGIES. Unless you do something to someone's person, family, or steal their property to get your fix, why then, does one need to go to the " JOINT"? Remember: And this I learned for myself when that fucker, that OLD, BALD-HEADED REDNECK SCUMBAG OF A JUDGE IN POLK COUNTY, FLORIDA railroaded me into bullshit " Drug treatment", the goddamn drug counselor, Patricia, an equally-ANCIENT SHRIVELED UP CHRISTIAN " FOSSIL" who told me to do what I was already doing before PISS TESTING ME FOR POSSESSION OF POT!!! POT!!! Go to these fucking AA/NA meetings!!! REMEMBER: "YOU CAN LEAD THE GODDAMN HORSE TO THE WATER HOLE (or drying out farm) BUT YOU SURE AS FUCK CANNOT MAKE HIM/HER DRINK!!!!" The horsie must first BE THIRSTY!!! And so, when you cannot even get a DOGSHIT JOB at fucking Burger Krap or McGarbage because of a fucking felony or two ( I have two under the former life's name " It Oropal" after a went nuts and pulled a hit and run with injuries on a SUICIDE MISSION similar to what Adam Lanza did in Newtown, Connecticut; one in which I was DESPERATELY HOPING TO COMMIT SUICIDE BY COP!!!) America is FUCKED! FUCKED! RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE TO NOT JUST $8.40 PER HOUR, BUT TO $15.00; believe me, McDogshite and Burger Kunt make MORE THAN ENOUGH MUCHO DINERO!!! Walmart MAKES MUCHO DINERO. The system is fucked; however, IF WORK PAID BETTER AND WAS WILLING TO HIRE INEXPERIENCED MOTHA FUCKAS, CRIME MIGHT JUST NOT BE THE BEST PAYING JOB AROUND!

Who remembers HS fraternities on LI? (Hempstead, Babylon: school, vs, garden) - Long Island -...

I know Valley Stream, Franklin Square, West Hempstead, Island Park and Oceanside had them....

CITY-DATA.COM

Thankstupidity, Shitsmas, and Fleaster

And so, Fleaster. An essentially meaningless to me Christian holiday adopted from the Pagans; originally it was called Eaostre. A honey that was loosely associated with Ostara- the spring holiday. Looking at my niece's daughter, Ruby, who is almost 5 years old or is now 5, all dressed up in her Easter Sundy dress, suddenly I remember back to the days when I was the chimpanzee and had to wear that stupid god damn mother fucking monkey suit; the picture of the piece of shit I was born as standing on the Nassau County storm drain cover at Silver Lake in Baldwin, New York. Watching, as the saltwater sorry they came in or went out; the tidal surge sometimes overflowing into the brackish water lake and over Foxhurst Rd.

Not but I didn't like that dork you little suit at the time, I did. Today, my half a cunt at times " loving" sister, Linda went to church in the morning; that big Irish retired police officer boyfriend she's been with for the past million years, or so it seems to the asshole here that never had a fucking relationship last longer than 11 months in its pathetic life, along with the other douchebag fucking Irishman, Bill O'Reilly on Fox News, probably convinced her to return to the Church of our childhood. A church she loved so much mom and rolled over in Catholic school where, not only did she learn how to study for tests, she often was dragged down the hall and/or had her knuckles cracked with yardstick by the "nice" Catholic sisters!! Something which obviously taught Linda how to be a good little Catholic girl I'm grow up to be a submissive, ass kissing, reasonably successful businesswoman.

That and a good little Republican that has never strayed from the party which has become a part of your fucking Christian Jihadist assholes. Always the agreeable " good Catholic girl" except when she doesn't like your tone of voice or whatever you have to say- at which time she ignores you and gives you the cold fucking shoulder, Linda has faithfully taking her psychopharmacological brain pills since before our mother, Cosima Evelyn Gebbia- Oropal, croaked, on July 30, 2011. Always suggesting as to how I should have been taking the same looney pills from the time I was in middle and high school. The way she figures things, those pills would have helped me become a humble worker and "Enabled me to become a productive, taxpaying citizen who would then be able to hold a job working at McGarbage, or maybe Target or Walmart." Remind me to get the gun and kill myself, Linda. As suicide's far more enjoyable than the best workday at McDogshite or Walmart; my taxes paying for a nice warm jail cell to sleep and after I got caught for drinking and driving- or maybe drinking, driving, and TEXTING on my way home from Walmart, or Village Inn where I worked as an idiot clerk or bus person. Just like most of these brain dead drunkard, meth smoking idiots in New Mexico!!!!!

Yes Easter Sunday. A day when both Catholic and Christian, I mean CONSTANTINIAN, goes to church in their " Easter best". Listening to some fucking place to rehash the same old shit about how " Jesus Christ was crucified on Holy Thursday, rose from the dead and ascended into heaven on good friday, and appeared on Easter Sunday. Let us fucking PRAY! " Ahhh-fucking-hemm!

Now a transgender woman, one that does not fit in either the male or female spectrum of the two gender roles North can attest to having any clothes female friends- well, besides to cross dressing men called Transvestites ( their words) I know back in Connecticut, I can remember when I was 7 or 8 years old and living in Baldwin, Long Island, New York. Often reading Encyclopedia Britannica and studying the biological female anatomy, you know, the vagina, uterus, and fallopian tubes containing the eggs ready for fertilization soon as she turned 12-13 (mother having never taught me that a woman can get pregnant as young as 12 or 13-I learned this on my own! ) , after listening to that priest on Sunday morning at St. Christopher's Roman Catholic Church on Merrick Road/ SR 27A, many nights I'd have SCARY NIGHTMARES.

 After listening to that priest at St Christopher's RC Church, orphan on Saturday when I went to Mass in the afternoon but also on Sunday, priest talking about how Jesus died and rose for our sins to the point that I could see him coming off the stained glass windows on the walls of that church and float across the congregational chamber; those bleeding holes in his hands from where the Romans hammered in the nails; at the request of the Jews who wanted him killed, of course! the Romans were innocent; they just did whatever the Jews wanted them to because the Jews couldn't get blood on their hands, or so we were told by the Catholic priest! Often, he'd rehearse the same old story about the doubting Thomas; the disciple who, like fucking Peter when the cock crowed three times, REFUSED TO BELIEVE that Jesus is actually killed and returned to life as God's own son, Thomas being wrong for saying " If it is really you, Lord then show me the Nails!!! I want to see the nails!!!" Supposedly Thomas was the closest disciple of Yeshua- the Jewish Rabbi; however, in Christian and Catholic theory, Thomas was the bad guy!!!! After all, throughout history, the JEW was always the bad guy!!!

Honestly, as a young child of seven to nine years old, a time when my parents trusted me to ride my bicycle across Merrick Road to Saint Christopher's Roman Catholic Church (unlike the pathetic, paranoid suburban douchebags who call themselves parents today, those who can't even let their kids play in the front yard without supervision, only because they watch too much dog shit news on TV on Fox and local channels and I've been brainwashed into thinking the world is such a dangerous place for children!) , I WAS CONFUSED!!!! I REALLY THOUGHT THAT JESUS ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY ROSE FROM THE GRAVE AND CAME BACK TO LIFE!!! MUCH THE SAME AS MARILYN MANSON OF CANTON, OHIO SAW ANGELS AND DEVILS FLYING IN THE AIR AND FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER. Something Mr. Manson had been taught by both his Episcopal evangelical conservative parents and that teacher at Heritage Christian Academy!!!

Now for the clincher. And so, having that disgusting part I was born with down there, yes, that fucking phallus, that and those lumps of soon to become useless shit that were attached to it; those things I'd often have kicked by the Irish and Italian Catholic bullies back in Baldwin, Long Island, New York to the point that I begin crying like a little girl ( which I was-despite being told otherwise!) ; often, I'd walk around constantly tugging at my crotch. This being from the time I was around my niece's daughters age of 4-5 until well into my teenage years when those things were to grow and affect my moods; many times to the point that, after my parents moved me to Newtown Connecticut at age 12, drove me insane to the point that I, like Adam Lanza, wants to take a machine gun and shoot every motherfucker in Newtown!! The asshole jocks & preppies, in particular. Those who, like those Irish and Italian American assholes back in Baldwin, we're a bunch of fucking dickheads!!! Dickheads like the moron who ripped at st. Christopher's medallion right off my neck one day at Dickinson memorial town park.

And so, between the ages of 7 to 9 years old when I went to St Christopher's Roman Catholic Church, in Baldwin, Long Island, New York and was sitting in Mass, during the whole sit, stand, kneel, and stand again bullshite as we were told to do by the priest, I would stare up at nice pictures of Jesus, the halo around his head depicted on the stained glass windows. That brilliant springtime sunshine shining through the Western window on a Saturday afternoon at Mass.

Getting home that night, or, when I went to Mass on Sunday morning at 11, sometime late on Sunday afternoon on the days I attended Mass on Sunday morning and went fishing, at Loft's Lake Pond on Merrick Road, right back at you Encyclopedia Britannica I would dive. Studying what else? The female anatomy of uterus, vagina, and fallopian tubes. Correlating what I read in the Encyclopedia Britannica's Medical encyclopedia directed with the whole "dying and rising" God theory the priest always taught us at church. Then came the NIGHTMARES. LITERALLY I COULD SEE THOSE HOLES IN JESUS' HANDS! AT WHICH TIME I'D FREAK OUT AND WONDER WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO FEEL THOSE NAILS GOING THROUGH MY OWN HANDS AND WRISTS!!! IT WAS SCARY.

Soon came nighttime. A time when mother used to teach me, what one hopes of making my Godmother Aunt Rita happy, to pray to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen!! As black people in the South would say: May I have another Amen!! Drifting off to sleep, our cat, Frisky, often coming in my room to sleep upon his favorite desk in the alcove overlooking the street; usually staying awake all night as cats do-Frisky would just look at the window all night to watch the alley cats fight in the street; knowing that my asshole neighbor living next store, Tommy Ward, what sound asleep and wouldn't be running them over with his hot rod Corvette as he'd drive up and down Tulip Ave in Baldwin; often at speeds exceeding 50 miles per hour!!!! Old Frisky being too smart, luckily, TO GET KILLED UNDER ASSHOLE TOMMY WARD'S WHEELS!! SCHMUCK!!!

And so, saying my prayers like the good little Catholic "M-thing" I was supposed to be, Mom would tuck her little bastard child into bed and under the covers. I being the misbehaving little bastard that the psychiatrist told one of the put on fucking Ritalin; something which every one of my Jewish friends from the special, or "retard school" I went to called BOCES we're on already! Their parents often being far wealthier than my idiot father ever was, their Jewish parents would send them to the perfect psychiatrist. A man who'd then prescribe " looney pills" for them so as to make their busy parents jobs a lot easier; as well as help the teacher micromanage each and every one of them in class!

And so, deep into sleep I'd fall. Not having a first clue as to how my father managed to keep the house going, keep food on the table for the family, and buy me all those toys in hopes that it would make me a better child at mother's request. Mom hoped that my having lots of Jennifer hope your toys to play with would make me happy. HAPPY. Like that's stupid fucking songs Mary Kaye liked so goddamn much. The woman at the homeless camp I met last summer. 

Frisky up on that desk and sometimes growling and hissing at other male cats outside, Frisky being smarter than any of them because he had his testicles surgically removed ( hence: his fear of speeding cars on busy Atlantic Ave. 200 feet south of 2817 Tulip Ave Baldwin, NY 11510) , often I'd awaken at like 2 am.This after, in my first dream, literally seeing Jesus coming down with the blood pouring out of the holes in his hands and wrists; Thomas hollering loudly, " HOW DO I KNOW IF YOU ARE THE REAL CHRIST OR NOT? I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT IT'S YOU, LORD!!! IF YOU ARE THE CHRIST, THEN, SHOW ME THE NAILS!!!! I WANT TO SEE THE NAILS!!!" Remember......the cock shall crow thrice!!!!

Mom sometimes coming inside my room after she heard me screaming really loud in FEAR and telling her how I felt those nails penetrating my hands just like they did to Jesus when the Romans, who were paid by the Jews to kill Jesus Christ, pounded those nails-HARD- into the palms of his hand!!!! At which turn should reassure me that everything was ok and to go back to sleep. As 4y frisky ever came in my room, that I do not know? After all, like my brother before me who stay in that room and threw him off the porch when he was just a tiny kitten, Frisky hated me because I was often an animal abuser. All children are, those with emotional problems especially!!!

Again falling into a deep sleep, usually around 4 o'clock in the morning, I'd have another nightmare and wake up again. Only difference being that this time the vagina monster is coming to get me. She floated like a ghost across the room in my dreams. Constantly alternating with images of Jesus Christ with the holes in his hands bleeding profusely! ( Doubting Thomas!!!) . The vagina monster having looked just like the fallopian tubes, uterus, and vagina as depicted in Encyclopedia Britannica's Family Medical Encyclopedia. 

Back when I was 7-9, I hadn't the foggiest idea of what she wanted. Now that I've come out of the closet, I know why she came. Why she often alternated her persona with Jesus Christ and those totally gnarly, bleeding holes in his hands!!! She what's coming for me, trying to tell me something. Trying she snatched me up with those hands made out of fallopian tubes as she came through the closed door leading out to the outdoor porch above the den, or Florida room. The same one my older brother, Joseph Albert Oropal, threw Frisky off when he still lived at home- all because frisky was on his bed and he hated having a cat sleep on his bed!

Meanwhile, and I'm sure both my aging Catholic Uncle Sal and Aunt Rita still remember this; often, I'd walk around the neighborhood constantly tugging at the crotch of my pants. Doing this whenever mom and dad would take me out to a restaurant, to the park, what's a visit company, as they called our relatives, as well as their friends. My father being embarrassed of what, in his own words to my mother, " The stupid goddamn moron SOB kept doing so as to embarrass (its) family", he'd always yell at me. " STOP IT. CALL DAMMIT DON'T YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOU DO THAT IT REFLECTS ON THE FAMILY AND YOUR UPBRINGING?" Replying, I'd tell him, " I can't. Something's making me uncomfortable and making my pants feel tight all the time! I hate it Dad. I hate myself and wish the hell I was dead! If only I was lucky enough to get hit by my neighbor when he speeds up and down the street in his hot rod car! 

Tommy was a surfer; he look just like those surfer boys from where Cassandra-a woman I know from our atheist meetings, lived in Orange County, California. Long Island, NY also being a big surfer hotspot, Tommy would brag about how we drove out to East Hampton and Montauk and surfed big waves seen on windy days that reminded him of California.Worthy of mention here would be how Tommy Ward, and his brother Jamie ( John, Jr) HATED MY FUCKING GUTS. MUCH THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER BOY ON TULIP AVENUE AND MOST OF THE GIRLS AS WELL. To them, I was a " spas", a god damn mother fucking retard. More then once I almost got my wish. It would speed up and try to run me over every time I cross the street. Other times, however, Tommy Ward would allow me to ride in his souped up hot rod Corvette. At which time he would speed down tulip Avenue as fast as 55 miles per hour; laughing, as he scare all the kids were playing in the street to near death. One girl, as I remember, running up to him and crying because she ran over her cat and killed it dead! To which tommy said something like " GOOD! MY MOM WAS SICK OF YOUR CAT COMING OVER AND PISSING AND SHITTING IN OUR BUSHES ALL THE TIME ANYWAY!" 

Like his father, John James Ward Senior and brother Jamie ( gay- but in the closet still, I believe?) Tommy was a rotten asshole. One time when my mother came over to tell him to stop racing the car in the driveway all day, the car literally spent on her fucking feet. Telling her " Fuck you Mrs. OROPAL!! And how about spastic little retard that, if ( it) ever tries to jump on mine, or my father's cars again I will beat ( its) brains in, tying ( it) to the back of my car as I drag ( its) retarded little ass down the street!"

Yeah, much like my so called adult life, I often being less " mature" than the average 21 to 22 year old college student here at New Mexico State University, I did not know how to act around people. Lacking both social skills and the ability to fight the bullies, I took my frustrations out on myself. Doing everything from taking off almost all my clothes and running up and down Tulip Avenue in Baldwin in my underwear; so getting on my bicycle and riding really fast on the sidewalk. Running over as many job carriages, big wheels, and everything else the kids left over as if I was Tarzan! This, I often did during the three religious holidays of the year; Thanksgiving, Christmas, and yes, Easter. Usually after drinking at least 8 to 12 glasses of wine given to me by my Sicilian Italian grandmother, Sadie Gebbia; Reveri parents weren't looking, grandma getting used to always give us as much wine as we could drink. At which time mom would open her big mouth and start screaming at her; " WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING MOM? THESE KIDS ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE DRINKING ALCOHOL! BUT NO, YOU ENCOURAGE THEM!!!" To which Grandma often replied, loudly and proudly, " DON'T YOU DARE TELL MA-MA WHAT TO DO. ITS THE LORDS HOLIDAY LET THE KIDS HAVE SOME WINE!!!"

Yeah, my long having grown up and become an ADULT cousin, Diana, I as well, we loved it when Grandma Gebbia you're used to give us wine! As usual, Dad came running and began yelling at her too. " WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOUR CHICK GIVING A LITTLE MORE ON WINE WHEN YOU KNOW ( IT) CANNOT HANDLE IT! NOW IT'S GOING TO GO IN HER EYES THE NEIGHBORHOOD LIKE IT USUALLY DOES! YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! THIS IS AMERICA, NOT ITALY!"

At which time, soon as Dad try to punish me or force me to go to my room, I would run right out of the house ripping off my clothes and screaming; or more often, running like hell out through the garage, hitting the automatic door button, and getting on my bicycle. At which time I would storms on the sidewalks tulip Avenue and run over there was a big meals, doll carriages, what I forgot in my way. My irate and often angry, mean tempered father running after me and yelling, I would yell "fuck you dad! You CANNOT STOP ME BY GIVING ME THE SPANKING OF MY LIFE!!" At which time I would play "drunk driver!" A game in which the object is not only run over every big wheel and carriage on tulip Avenue on the sidewalk, and sometimes peoples cats with the bicycle if they got in my way, BUT MORE OFTEN RATHER THAN HIT A CAT, I WOULD RUN INTO OTHER CHILDREN. ESPECIALLY THOSE GOD DAMN TANNER GIRLS UP THE STREET WHO ALWAYS THREW ROCKS AT ME AND CALLED ME A "RETARD" AND A "FAGGOT"!!! ONCE, I BELIEVE, I TOOK MY BICYCLE WHEEL ON A HIT AND TANNER RIGHT BETWEEN THE LEGS. TRYING TO HER HER AS MUCH AS SHE DID WHEN SHE PICK UP A STICK AND DO THE SAME TO ME; HOHER IRISH BOY BULLIES STANDING UP FOR HER.

Other times, however, I just simply took my frustrations out on myself. Screaming, if I smashed my skull cap repeatedly into those hard plaster walls, and even the fieldstones on the outside of our house. I hate myself and hated what I was born as. Truthfully, I never can attest to ever feeling like the "boy" I was supposed to be. That creature who stood up to piss, or, as my often I'm reading someone's stupid father would often say..." Make a siss". Men's and boys rooms scared the living shit out of me, yeah I didn't know why. Nothing annoyed me more than hearing the sound of urine splashing into the toilet water; I was ashamed of my body and ashamed of myself. Not even Dr. Herbert. Rosenthal of Oceanside, New York, a Jewish psychologist who had a practice in Long Beach, could figure out what's wrong with me? Dad, meanwhile, was so unhappy about the way I kept pulling at my crotch and front of my pants. As he often said to Mom, " I deliberately embarrass him and the rest of my family by not knowing how to act right when in public!"

And so, listening to those Jewish parents whose children were also in BOCES, Jewish parents that had a lot more money than my family did, mom and dad took me to a psychiatrist in Manhasset, Long Island, New York; right near Great Neck with my sisters lives today, and yes, close to Plandome Manor what her favorite Fox News personality, Bill O'Reilly lives with whatever woman he is fucking these days after his wife left him. Naturally, the idiot put me on fucking Ritalin. That and some kind of tranquilizer so I could sleep better at night- probably trazadone; that and Niacin for my vitamin deficiency. At the time, I didn't eat meat nor many vegetables; the only thing I like to eat with pasta and more pasta, and yes, the Chinese wonton soup and Egg foo young with my parents lied to me and told me it didn't have pork in it- IT DID. other times, when they took me to White Castle over in Lynbrook on the Sunrise Highway ( SR 27) , they would trick me into eating a White Castle hamburger or two. Mom saying, " It's just bread. Not real meat." BULLSHIT!

Between my parents, and some of those teachers are used to have at BOCES, Mrs. Greenfield comes to mind here. The Jewish woman who taught us at the Lakeview location of BOCES situated in an old Elementary School building on Lakeview Avenue in a Nassau County Community that was all black by that time ( 1970-71). Oh how I treated us children like stupid..... well, it's fucking retards! Not but most of us warming, we were shooting the zombie pills the psychiatrists had been force feeding us at the request of both teachers and parents who expected us to stay calm and know how to behave properly!!!

One sunny spring afternoon, the teachers at Greenfield BOCES took her for a walk around like for you to "meet the neighbors". Something which, considering that most of us kids were white and either Italian, Irish, or Jewish, felt rather odd. Baldwin did not have any black people in it at the time, North Rockville Centre, Lynbrook, Valley Stream, Merrick, Bellmore, and yes, Massapequa where my Jewish friend Morgan lived! it felt really weird to have to say hello to black people when, bacchanal neighborhood mostly white, we were taught to do the opposite.

Don't get it started here, please. I was AFRAID OF THOSE BLACK PEOPLE; ONLY BECAUSE, AT THE TIME BACK IN BALDWIN, NEW YORK, EVERY GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING WHITE BOY ON MY STREET AND ALL THE WHITE GIRLS CALLED THEM WELL THE N-WORD. "Niggers". Something which my family, & I give them credit for this, taught me to never say! This to the point that one time, back when Mr Ward-the retired NYPD detective had his floor business and would wax floors, at our house and working, told my father that instead of bailing me out, he should have " Let the police come take me to the looney bin, to jail with those niggers so I could get my brains beat it and learn my lesson!" Yes-Mr. John Ward was... A FUCKING COP.

Need I say that, for once, my father did something right??? Standing up to Mr Ward, Dad literally screamed at him really loud: " DON'T YOU DARE TALK THAT WAY AROUND MY WIFE AND MY KID- YOU GOD DAMN BIGOTED IRISH BASTARD YOU! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WITH YOUR IDIOT I WISH DETECTIVES AND COPS DRINKING WHISKEY ALL DAY BACK AT THE PRECINCT IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK? TELL YOU WHAT, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE. NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK I'D BETTER NOT BE HERE! OR OK I'LL SWING AT YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND GIVE YOU WHAT YOUR GOD DAMN IRISH COPS TO THE BLACK PEOPLE ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU ARREST THEM FOR THOSE DRUGS!"

Yes, Baldwin, Long Island, New York circa 1972. Soon after, Dad had our kitchen remodeled. At what's time you told that old miserable Irish cop next door " Your services are no longer needed! Go back to the forest and go drink some whiskey with all the other idiots detectives like yourself!" GOOD GOING JOB. I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE A FUCKING ASSHOLE BUT THAT TIME YOU WERE RIGHT, AND YES YOU RAISED ME TO BE RIGHT. Yet another time, with my friends around the corner, or white kids they run up and down the street to welcome the first new black kid to the neighborhood. Hollering out " JUNGLE BUNNY!!! ME TARZAN. I AM KING OF THE JUNGLE; YOU JUNGLE BUNNY." Like the gullible idiot I was, as my father always called me, and yes he was right, I've decided to join in the fun. DESPERATE TO BE ACCEPTED IN MY BALDWIN, NEW YORK NEIGHBORHOOD.

However, I was also stupid enough to come running home and tell my father about our little game of "jungle bunny" . After it's time my father sent me in the corner and told me" Just because the rest of your moron friends call blacks that derogatory bad racist word doesn't mean you have to. Most I'm done have drunken cop fathers like the Irish idiot next door!" And so, back to Lakeview. It so odd for me, as well as the other kids to learn how to be friendly with all kinds of people; that was not what we were taught that in our mostly white neighborhoods. However, even though she often treated us like a bunch of retarded idiots zombies on medication- not that almost all the rest besides myself were not that, thanks to mommy, daddy, and the nice psychiatrist who gave us the happy pills, I must say that, being Jewish, Mrs Greenfield taught us right!!" Today, Baldwin is mostly black north of the Sunrise Highway and LIRR tracks; however, my old neighborhood is still mostly white but, kind of mixed. It has black, white, Chinese, other Asian, and yes, more upper middle class Puerto Ricans and Mexicans- all of her me the work in the city at six figure income jobs, or own their own businesses and software companies. Baldwin has changed. However, the place where mom and dad moved be too, not the cause balding was starting to have blacks move in, but to get away from the asshole white people next store who wants to kill both me and my mother ( and probably would have / almost did once-Mr Ward kept several civil service revolvers at home plus 2-3 shotguns). However, Newtown was a lot more prejudiced, they were just simply bigots. Many of them were, anyway. To this day, despite the fact that Newtown has gotten a lot less prejudiced except when it comes to class status, let me get the same bigoted white assholes I went to highschool with us living there, raising their children just as they were raised. Others who never made it in life have one moved on to places like Florida, Pennsylvania, Texas, and probably Kentucky and Tennessee.